i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize