his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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