There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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