Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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