Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
