So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can you bring me the toilet please
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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