She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we're chasing vodka with high fives
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize