Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
