She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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