Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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