So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
