so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
