Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
