thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
