I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
