Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
