i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
