The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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