I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
