Pappa wants mamma naked
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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