Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
