What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
