can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize