WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
this hospital has no fireball
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Are these your boobs on my camera?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
