I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sober January is a disaster.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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