but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
