Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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