So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
