Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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