no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
