apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this will be a night to untag.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
