Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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