i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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