At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
