He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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