It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
