she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize