So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
