even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
