We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
how drunk are you?
Several
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
