she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
