she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
