So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
operation harelip BJ is a go
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
