there's paper in my vomit.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
