I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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