I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
