the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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