there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize