toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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