Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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