i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
