she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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