census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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