He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
