I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
