chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
