Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
