I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
