Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
