I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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