What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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