I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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